Dear Friends,
This is from a normal, patched-up, immature, short-ish, average-looking, sixteen-year-old girl. I’m nothing extraordinary or unusual. I have good days and bad days, and I deal with problems in every single one of them. I like to talk (what girl doesn’t?), and I giggle and fan-girl just like you would expect a teen girl to do. I have friends and people I wouldn’t exactly call my “friends”. I have interests and hobbies and certain things I don’t particularly like to do. I have responsibilities. I have little joys and pleasures. I have problems.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand. I bet if I told you how much I hate it when my little sister leaves my bedroom light on, you would totally get it. I bet if I described my love for the smell of rain, you’d tell me you feel the same way. I bet if I said that I tend to feel awkward talking to people I don’t know (especially cool people: I don’t want to embarrass myself), you would feel my pain. And I’m sure that if you talked about the certain way you eat your pizza, or your unique way of tying your shoes, we would both laugh and agree. Because I get it; I completely understand, and I probably do the same thing.
You know, I have a New Year’s resolution to have a better fitness plan. We know how well that will work out, right?
See? You just laughed (or at least smiled) at that sentence--I can tell. Why? Because we all know.
We all have our quirks and differences; to a degree. No one is exactly like you, because we’re all made up of little bits of everyone else. You will never meet someone with whom you have every single thing in common, but you also won’t meet someone you aren’t similar to in any way.
I have some interesting little things I say, such as “funsauce”, “don’t die”, and “I’m confuzzled”, which I have picked up from various friends of mine. And recently, I’ve had some friends telling me that I sound “exactly like” their sister Aubrey* when I say those kinds of things. Aubrey* is currently serving an LDS mission, and I’ve never met her. Yet she says the same things, and her family has told me that I even act like her sometimes. We both like doing fancy stuff with hair, and we both enjoy writing (like neither of us can live without it). Funny, right? Someone I have never even seen in person is so much like me. I’m sure you know, or at least know of, people who are very similar to you.
Have you ever searched your name on the Internet? (Believe me, you’re not the only one.) Did you see how there actually were results? Again: you’re not alone!
Have you ever tripped over something (like a chair) and dropped your folder (full of papers) while walking in front of a bunch of people? Same. (I did it on Wednesday.)
Have you ever said something really stupid in front of your crush, or someone you’re trying to impress? Me too. (I can’t even count the number of times I’ve done that…)
Have you ever laughed so hard that your face turned red and blotchy and tears were pouring out of your eyes and you fell off your stool and you had to basically crawl to the bathroom where you gagged on your laughter because you weren’t breathing and you found that your cheeks were covered with mascara and then when you walked back you found your friends looking at you with wide eyes like they thought you were the weirdest person they’d ever seen? Hopefully you’ve never had to experience that… (That was Thursday.)
I hope this has been evidence that we all do dumb, embarrassing things sometimes. When those things happen to you, and people laugh, please know that most of them aren’t laughing because they don’t like you or they’re trying to be mean. Most of them laugh because they understand and have probably done that very thing.
I hope this has also been proof that people understand what you’re going through. We all disagree with other people sometimes. We all have friend problems. We all have jealousies and get offended occasionally. We all go through it. So don’t feel like no one understands. Don’t think you can’t talk to anyone about it, because chances are, they need someone to talk to just as much as you do.
A friend of mine says that “what is personal is universal,” meaning that you, unique as you are, aren’t going through anything alone. I may not know you, whoever you are, but I bet we’d get along just fine. Because I understand. I know.
I wrote a poem several months ago for a contest (I didn’t win, in case you were wondering). I’d like to share it here.
We All Go Through It
Happiness or pain,
Sunshine or rain,
Everyone around you goes through it.
Alone or with friends,
For a while or to the end,
Look around-- we all go through it.
On others you can depend,
For we all understand.
Go lift someone up-- you’ve been through it.
Look around. Notice others. They’re human, just like you. The struggles people deal with are there so other people have the opportunity to help. So don’t deny others the privilege of helping you with your problems, and don’t hesitate to take the chance to do the same for someone else. Knowing that there’s someone who understands helps us have confidence in who we are. It helps us know that we’re not alone, and fewer people are judging us than we may imagine. I hope you know that there’s at least one person on earth who understands: and that’s me. But I think you’ll find that most people do understand. So go on with the confidence that you are you, and we know how it is.
I understand, and don’t you dare forget it.
Sympathetically yours,
~Patty
*Name changed
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